Yikes, I can’t believe it is already Tuesday.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about moving. I’m not really happy here, but part of me thinks I’ll just be running away because I am not happy. The other part of me thinks that I wouldn’t be running away, I would just be going home. I just don’t know what’s right. *sigh* Being a Gemini isn’t always easy.
Nothing too exciting going on. Saturday, Jac and I went to the beach and took Corbin. At first, he didn’t quite know what to make of the water, but by the end he was splashing around having a grand ole time!
I went shopping this weekend and bought some new towels. They are soooft! I also bought a couple of new shirts. I got this one baby doll T. It has the pattern of holes that start 1mm to each side of my nipples and run all the way down between them. I think if I wore it out dancing, I’d give everyone a show!
I tried to go bathing suit shopping, but couldn’t find anything I liked. Maybe I will go tonight. Sunday I went to Hooters and then had drinks with friends. I got way too drunk but had a really good time.
Other than that, I am just trying to get ready for my trip.
5. How many pillows are on your bed?
6 regular pillows and 3 throw pillows
6. Favorite ice cream flavor?
Bluebell mint chocolate chip or coffee
Alliance of Free Blogs - I found You Know You Wanna while searching for kitty porn. No, that's not a typo.
where is home?
Comment by pathfinder02 — June 29, 2004 @ 5:04 am
It happens to us Aries, too. *hugs*
While some people in the world view it as running away, others tend to view it as following your heart. In the end, you have to do what makes you happy. Otherwise, you end up kicking yourself for settling for things that don’t make you happy.
Sichy~
Comment by sichernde_seele — June 29, 2004 @ 5:43 am
Well, I grew up in Houston, but moved to Dallas after college. I am thinking about moving back to Dallas. All my friends are there, my old stomping grounds (plus better jobs, more women and ya know, IMPORTANT things
Comment by jaxia — June 29, 2004 @ 6:59 am
I just haven’t ever stayed in one place very long. I am really ready to settle down (I am getting old!) but I don’t think here is the place for me.
Comment by jaxia — June 29, 2004 @ 7:03 am
yea i know what u mean. i grew up in upstate ny. its quite different down here..but anything beats that small lil town where im from. still miss it though.
Comment by pathfinder02 — June 29, 2004 @ 7:58 am
So you are in that spot where you don’t know where you really want to be or what really is ever going to make you happy. Yes, there are things we do in life that seems as though we are running away and really all we are trying to do is get to that place where we feel comfort, whether it is in a lover, a town, in a home or just surrounded by familiar faces.
This is a decision little one that only you can make, but be ready for things after this decision no matter how much you think this will be the last one you have to make to not work out. That is apart of life. This decision is no bigger than the previous. Look at it that way and maybe you will realize the answer is right in front of you.
As for me I hear ya. This is not my home. This is just a holding tank. I just recently went on a vacation and I got a taste of a life that I have been searching for. I can honestly say I had the time of my life being able to experience what I want the next chapter of my life to be like with a person I really care about and love. I think that person made me realize I needed to take a look at me and find out what I want life to be.
Here is the Goal:
To be successful career wise….to make the home that I have never really had before…..to raise a beautiful family full of love….to travel and see the world…to be happy….make plans when needed…go on hope and have the faith that in the end I will end up on a porch old and still as young as I am now drinking iced tea with the woman I love and surrounded by all the people we care about.
That is the future I want. I would like it soon but will it be a long road there? Maybe… Am I ready for it? YES…
Just make yourself happy. I faith in you and always will. Remember you will always have people who care about you supporting you the whole way.
You will find that home that you have been searching for, little one.
Comment by darkeyesdreamin — June 30, 2004 @ 1:25 am
My concern is that I should be comfortable in my own skin. I shouldn’t need to move in order to be comfortable. What I am trying to work out is making sure I am moving because I see no future for me here, not for any other reason.
This: “This decision is no bigger than the previous”
is a great piece of advice.
At this point, home is mythical. We shall see if it ever becomes reality.
Comment by jaxia — June 30, 2004 @ 6:52 am
You do have a point…but…
To live somewhere where you find comforts outside of your own skin does not mean that you are not comfortable being you. There is a point where there are emotions and experiences a person will never feel or encounter unless they are surround by those who can take them there and an environment that allows for that to happen. It does not have to be the dream place to live in but it has to allow for that growth. For whatever future you are looking at - short term or long term.
Whether you move or stay, look at where each place and those who live there will take you. Ask: Is it what you need?
As for home being a myth…it is always more real than you think…
Comment by darkeyesdreamin — June 30, 2004 @ 11:30 am
I have the same problem. I have lived in a quaint, mayberry existence for 22 years. My daughter now lives in Kansas (I in a very small town in Kentucky). I have worked for 10 years with the schools and see lots of friends, former students that I know. I love this small town. Well, the husband divorced me after 25 years, son just graduated from high school and financial security is now an issue. A huge job just opened up in another state where my family lives and they all want me to move as I would be making $40,000 a year. But it’s in a huge town, cold concrete and parking lots everywhere. The only people I know are family. In my small town, my babies were born there, grew up there and one will remain there staying with his friends going to college. Do I really want this change, total change in jobs, in towns, emotionally no..but practically…it’s the money. Help!
Comment by muspirit — June 24, 2006 @ 8:29 pm