So, I accept the job offer and have to go pee in a cup. This is awful. I have never in my life had to pee in a cup (well, other than that time I thought I’d join the Air Force, but that’s another story). I take off during lunch yesterday and call for directions. The lady manages to give me bungled directions 3 different times. I finally find the place and go inside. The place is PACKED with greasy guys covered in tattoos. Seriously, not only am I the only woman in the waiting room, but it also looks like I am the only person who had a shower in the last week, much less that day.
As germ paranoid as I am, waiting rooms are an awful experience. At least this one wasn’t in a doctor’s office. Those are teh sux. After waiting for an hour and a half and seeing 3 guys be processed, I ask how many people are in front of me. “4” WTF? It took an hour and a half to have 3 guys pee in a cup and I still have 4 people in front of me? I tell them I am leaving. Big drama ensues. I wind up telling them that if they get me fired from my current job because of their incompetency, I’d sue them. They shut up. To top things off, I needed to go to the bathroom since an hour before I showed up, but wanted to make sure I could perform on command. I was miserable.
They open at 8a, and I don’t have to be to work until 830, so I figure I’ll just be sitting there at 8a and get in and get out. I leave with just enough time to get to the pee-cup place before 8a. When I get in my car, my gas light is on. No problem, I’ll just stop after I pee. Nope. Left my DL (which is a must for the pee test) and Ccard at home. *sigh* Sometimes, I think I really should carry a purse. So I go BACK home and get my stuff, but now it’s too late and I have to go to work.
I wait until this afternoon and go in. Thank god, the place is empty, but it doesn’t assuage my fears, because I remember the nasties that were in there yesterday. Remember kids, don’t touch ANYTHING! The friggin nurse STILLL makes me wait for 45 minutes!!! Madness, I tell ya. I go through the process, and manage to perform adequately. I laugh as I sign the label and tell the nurse “Are you sure you don’t want a blood sample?”
Silly hoops just to get a job.
Alliance of Free Blogs - I found You Know You Wanna while searching for kitty porn. No, that's not a typo.
ew..i know. im a germ freak too. hospitals literally make me queasy, and so does waiting rooms..ugh.
Comment by pathfinder02 — July 27, 2004 @ 9:29 am
sounds like that place was a germ haven.
yum.
Comment by filterfactor — July 27, 2004 @ 12:12 pm
Almost sounds like all the guys I saw this weekend ended up giving pee tests with you. Of course if they were the guys I saw, they would have all failed
Ahhh such a good weekend 
And don’t even get me started at how amazed I am at girls beign able to aim intot he cup.
Comment by grizzilla — July 27, 2004 @ 12:39 pm
I would think that’d be easier for women. Just hold it underneath and let it go.
Wanna know what’s worse than peeing in a cup?
Just think about what else comes outta that hole with men.
Comment by maskedfencer — July 28, 2004 @ 2:21 am
hospitals literally make me queasy
Me too, one of the main reasons I tend to not go to the doctor, unless a friend drags me, kicking and screaming.
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 3:36 am
I love Bath and Bodyworks hand sanitizer. It keeps me sane.
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 3:39 am
I am sooo jealous! I WANT details! Did you get any bikini pics?!?!? (not of you
although that whole cross dressing thing… *teasing*)
Aim comes from a lot of being in the woods and having to take care of business. That, and being too drunk to make it home
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 3:41 am
Uhm, I thought your friends had gone in front of you? It’s typically not quite that easy, although it does depend on position. Women have more parts to obstruct the flow…ya know?
*gags* You just lost major cool points!
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 3:42 am
I did get a few good pictures of some nice bikes and also of one of the greatest ideas I have ever seen in my life. 4 words - “Hooters Girls Bike Wash”. And I think I got a picture of a girl showing off her whale tail as she was washing a bike.
Lots of times I just got pissed at a phenomenon that I like to call the “Harley effect” That is where a dirty, ugly, sleazy-looking, old, grubby dude has 1 or 2 hot chicks on his arm or a hot chick riding on the back of his bike. (Note to self: house is purchase, time to start saving for harley downpayment, or even better, build your own bike for more biker cred)
Comment by grizzilla — July 28, 2004 @ 3:52 am
Hey! I said they’ve gone in front of me, I didn’t say I was paying close attention.
Now I should just end this conversation before we get into a pissing contest.
Comment by maskedfencer — July 28, 2004 @ 3:54 am
I won’t hold it against you - you are still young, my child, and have much to learn.
pissing contest
You are tooo funny! That was vaguely Yarha-esque!
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 4:11 am
I’ll be your biker bitch. Maybe that’ll help attract a few others for your harem
Harley (at least around here) is running a lot of 0 interest specials. Did I tell you I almost bought one about a year ago? I decided it wasn’t the best idea since I would have over $1200 in car/bike/ins payments.
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 4:14 am
And it might also attract some for your harem as well
I think it is a good idea to try and keep transportation expenses below rent expenses. But that is just me. Right now the plan of record is to build a trike before next spring and have some miles on that before the weather gets nice. Probably be a VW powered one at first, and looka little backstreet/roadwarrior to keep costs down, but it should be fun.
Comment by grizzilla — July 28, 2004 @ 4:52 am
Maybe I should have a membership drive. My harem is empty at the moment. Think if I offered a free T-shirt, I could get some sexy ladies to sign up?
transportation expenses below rent expenses
Oh, that’s right. I keep trying to revert back to my childhood - where you see crack houses with Caddy’s in the driveway. *grin* Trikes are sweet. I think the coolest one I’ve ever seen was made out of a chopped up Carmengia.
Comment by jaxia — July 28, 2004 @ 5:10 am
may I suggest a very small and very thin t-shirt?
Comment by grizzilla — July 28, 2004 @ 5:59 am
I bet your a hot nurse!
Comment by Sparkable — April 2, 2008 @ 11:35 am