YKYW - Nursing Student Blog

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?*

*Potential. What does it mean? Who am I really if I look behind the curtain of my fear?

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.*

When the time comes for action and I make my stand, what will I reveal about myself? Will I have the courage to face all that I am and the strength to see it through?

I want first of all to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact - to borrow from the language of the saints - to live “in grace” as much of the time as possible…By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony.***

Possible. Imaginable. Plausible.

I’ve discovered a lot about myself recently. I’m amazed, honestly, and surprised at what I can do when I quit making excuses for myself and just say, “Ok. I’ll do it.”

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?**

I’ve struggled – with my pride, with my pain. And in the helpless quiet of the night, I’ve felt myself collapse and surrender. Sometimes in the shadows of my soul, my ego denies this yielding and I must face the challenge again.

I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.***

Personal growth is demanding enough on its own. However, if I must face other demons, it is almost impossible for me to make real progress. But now I’ve found a place in my life where being exposed isn’t such a fear-inspiring prospect and the other demons have been reduced to nagging little gremlins. I am ready to face the woman in the mirror.

Here I go. Wish me luck!

* Marianne Williamson
** Oriah Mountain Dreamer
*** Anne Morrow Lindbergh