YKYW - Nursing Student Blog

I had my final test today for the first summer session. Before heading to the testing center, I went to the bookstore to find out which books I’ll need next semester. If I can, I want to try to get them somewhere cheaper online. After leaving the bookstore, I settled down in the student center with my Red Bull, textbook, and the sounds of Wimbledon in the background. I went over my notes for the test and watched the students move around campus.

After finishing my test, I headed back to my car. It’s a gorgeous day outside and I’m excited about my future. While giving directions to someone, it occurred to me that my life has followed the path it needed to follow. I am where I am supposed to be.

I won’t go so far as to say everyone should work fulltime before going to college, but I’d highly recommend it. In high school, I was a…hmm…I would never say I am a “good” student (because I’m not). But, I did well enough in my classes to graduate with the top of my class. But, I didn’t study, I didn’t pay attention in class, and to say I wasn’t prepared for college is an understatement. Although I was lucky enough to go to college on a full academic scholarship, I didn’t appreciate it. I had no idea on how to handle classes that required effort on my part. Combined with that, I was struggling with how to handle my sexuality, my parents’ divorce and my own insecurities. In my mind, my education wasn’t as important as the teen angst I was going through.

Now, however, I get it. After working for 9 years, I appreciate where an education can take me. I’ve matured emotionally, and even if something stressful happened, I’m more equipped to handle it now. School is significant to me in a way that I could never grasp at 18.

Better late than never, right?

Today’s is my last day of work here. Oddly enough, I feel like I am graduating from high school again. I have the same nervous jitters, the same sense of awe concerning my future. With all these emotions swirling around, it seems like I should have something to say, something powerful and wondrous. But, I stare at the blank screen and all I can think of is “thank you.”

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
Thank you to SK for believing in me, and believing in us. Without your help, I wouldn’t be taking this leap of faith. Because I know your love is constant regardless of whether I have a 3.8 GPA, a 1.4 GPA or no GPA at all, I can go forward with confidence. I’m the kind of person who prefers to do something full force, or not at all. Half-hearted just doesn’t work well for me. But those gremlins! They nag me, and so I doubt myself. Even when I lose hope, you remind me of what is really important. Your strength of heart amazes me and I respect you more than you can ever know. You are the most selfless person I know, and motivate me to do the same. Thank you for teaching me to trust in the beauty of my dreams.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
Thank you to my sister for inspiring me. You didn’t even do it intentionally. The funny part is that you don’t even have to try. You have come so far from that one-bedroom house we lived in as children. And when I want to sit down like a stubborn mule and rail against the injustice in the world, your life reminds me that my past is not an excuse for giving up. Even as toddlers, your sons are generous, kind and loving. While a certain part of that may be their inherent nature, I believe it takes a good parent to nurture and develop their tender personalities. With people like you raising children, I can believe there is hope for the world. You’ve walked a difficult road. And instead of complaining about the landscape, you brought your own flowers and planted them along the way. Thank you for brightening my life and everyone else’s you touch.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
Thank you to my friends for being constant in your regard. Some of you have listened to my shameful secrets at 3am and still answer the phone when I call. Some of you hardly know me, and still leave words of encouragement when my spirits are low. Some of you have picked me up off the ground, and never asked for anything in return. All of these things are important and appreciated. Thank you for your constant friendship.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

When I stop to think about, how can I fail? With such fantastic people in my life, I can do anything. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Hmm. So I took the name/birthday thing that’s going around. The birthday one wasn’t really all that interesting to me, since I already know I’m a Gemini. I did learn my birth tree is “Hornbeam, the good taste”

The name thing, however, was much more… revealing:

Your number is: 5
The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9
A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.

As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6
An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

She’s awesome. A few bits from an entry by

“We are losing. And this loss is happening because many people feel we need to be quiet, move slowly, don’t push, sit in the back of the bus, take the abuse, don’t rock the boat, and be patient. I’ve seen people say time and again that if we’re quiet and stop shouting, then acceptance will come. People are voting DOMA in because we’re too pushy, they’re not ready. If we ‘force’ the issue the answer will be no, so we need to be good little children and behave, then maybe we’ll get a cracker. Patience above all is counseled.

Fuck patience. Waiting hat in hand, gains nothing.”

“But it’s a truth that we are only as free as the least free among us. When we said “Colored people may not use facilities that white people use”, that effected everyone, colored or not. Black or white, or brown, or purple. It damaged everyone living that way. And if you really think about it, you can see the numerous levels of damage, but I’ll spell out one for you. When you tell a child that someone is ‘less than’ because of their skin tone, whether that child is black or white…doesn’t it do harm? If they believe they’re better, more entitled, etc. because they’re white…doesn’t that harm the child? If they believe they’re less than, not entitled, whatever because they’re black, doesn’t that also do harm? And when they ask why, because these things are NOT obvious to children, hate is learned…the damage is even deeper. It leaves visible scars across society.”

“And if in the end, you can look at love (between two legally and mentally compentant people) and condemn that love simply because they’re the same gender…frankly I pity you.”

“They miss the love. And in missing that, they miss the true beauty and wonderment of the world. And it leaves an ugly scar in its wake.

That’s what I am fighting. And that’s what I am fighting for.”

The lovely Kemidra gave me a warm fuzzy today, and I thought I’d do my part

Reply to this post, and I’ll tell you one reason why I like/love/adore you.Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love

So is anybody good at math? In order to take calculus, I need to take a math placement test. I’m trying to brush up using a review packet, and I came across a question that puzzles me a bit. I was able to draw out the answer in my head, but I cannot figure out the actual math formula to answer the question.

Point A (-4, 1) is in the standard (x,y) coordinate plane. What must be the coordinates of point B so that the line x=2 is the perpendicular bisector of line AB?

a. (-6, 1)
b. (-4, -1)
c. (-4, 3)
d. (-2, 1)
e. (8, 1)

I will post the answer to the question in a comment, in case you’d rather not know. Is there a formula that makes this easier than drawing the graph out in my head and plotting the points?

So this glorious Friday, on the behalf of we are going to take a little survey. She says I look like this girl:

I disagree:

I lost my driver’s license. In order to get a new one, I have to have my birth certificate (or a passport). I don’t have a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get my birth certificate, I have to have a copy of my driver’s license.

Gah! This is some crap!

Wow. Have I had a lot going on lately!

I turned 27 on Sunday. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy day!

I’m still working on my write up, but here is the short version: Family visit was awesome and I’m quitting my job to go to school full time. Which means I need to sell my car. Anybody want to buy a 2000 BMW 328i?