I think one of the problems facing gay rights is that they’re spread out. Anyone, black or white, rich or poor, can be born gay. The only community tends to be far flung. (As in over a few towns in rural areas). If a gey child has bigoted parents, they lose that link to the community they were born into. No black parent has ever kicked out thier child for being born black.

Civil rights had it easier because they were segregated. They could form solid and cohesive communities. They could be the majority vote in thier district. And if someone was a racist, they probably weren’t going to live close enough for it to be an issue. If they tried to do something in a majority black town, they’d get arrested and charged by a justice system that isn’t on thier side.

And these people still exist. They hide it because unless they’re in a town that openly embraces white superiority, then they can’t speak out.

Most gays don’t have the luxury of a solid community that they’re born into. They have to search out like minded people. Even if they get together, their vote isn’t going to have much impact due to it being spread out over districts. Most of thier group will be strangers to the local community, so most people think “Why would I stick my neck out for a stranger?”, as opposed to everyone knowing someone of color, unless they live in a white washed town.

Thankfully, we’re already seeing real communities forming. Just around me, there’s North Hampton, which openly courts gay couples vacationing, that New Hampshire school district that laughed and told a busload of protesters from Kansas to go home when they protested lesbians as class couple, and several states legalizing some form of gay marriage.

I don’t see it as losing in the big picture. Some places have been lost to hatred, but there’s even more hope out there than there was ten years ago. “He was flirting with me” is no longer a valid defense for murder. If you walk down the street with your lover in most cities, it’s the person throwing rocks that gets arrested.

I agree that you need to continue fighting hard. But don’t discount the victories.