I know exactly how he feels. And I bet if you’ve ever worked tech support, you’ve come damn close to doing the same thing yourself.
True Story:
I worked for Microsoft during the launch of Windows 98. Now, I doubt any of you had to call Microsoft for support, but if you had you would have experienced a minimum 30 minute wait over a toll line. People were paying long distance charges and they weren’t happy about it. As all those in tech support know, it doesn’t bode well for the call when the customer is pissed off before I even get a chance to say my greeting.
Me: Thank you for calling Microsoft Product Support & Services. My name is Jax. May I have your name please?
Caller [screaming]: Bob and you can take this piece of shit software and stick it up Bill’s ass.
Me: Bob, I’m sorry you’re having problems but Bill’s unavailable at the moment. Perhaps we can find another option?
(As intended, he laughs a little and seems to calm down. Bob is trying to install Windows 98 and this is his first computer. His daughter bought it for him so he could see pictures of his grandkids. He’s still a cranky old man, but nice in his own gruff way. We walk through a few steps and everything is progressing nicely.)
Me: Okay, Bob, now I need you to empty your recycle bin.
Bob: What? [starting to sound upset] Did my wife put you up to this?
Me: No, Bob. [patiently] Your recycle bin is on your desktop. I need you to empty it so we can move on to the next step.
Bob [grumbling]: Okay. Hold on a minute.
(I’m confused, but I wait. I hear banging and clanging, a door slams and then he is back.)
Bob [still grumbling]: Okay, it’s empty. I still think my wife put you up to this. She’s been nagging me all day to empty that damn thing.
(Now I’m really confused.)
Bob: I don’t know what in the hell taking out the trash has to do with my damn computer, but can we get on with this?
Me: Uhm, sure. So Bob, you just took out your trash?
Apparently, the next day was recycling day in Bob’s neighborhood. Bob had a tendency to forget to sit it out by the curb, so Bob’s oh-so-subtle wife decided to place their recycling bin on top of Bob’s desk. No wonder he thought I was in cahoots with her! Once I pointed out his computer’s recycling bin, we shared a good laugh and moved on to resolve his problem.
But I still laugh every time I tell someone to empty their recycle bin.
6 Responses to “Microsoft Tech Support”
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This is the funniest story about tech support I have heard yet. I am going to share with Q-Man.. he will get a kick out of it.
As I was reading the comment about Bill being busy, I swear I could hear your voice with that southern-sarcastic-friendly response thingie you usually do.
Side Note: I am listening to Rachmaninov and the little computer guy is cracking me up. He beats his head against the keyboard perfectly in sync with the composition!
Comment by Jac — August 11, 2005 @ 8:17 pm
Mein Gott…. a Micro-Squish Tech Support survivor! *Bows in homage*
I worked a Hell-Desk for Burlington Coat Factory’s corporate office back home in NJ, and swore I’d never do it again after leaving for Texas.
So of course, now I’m working the Service Desk for Perot Systems, where the stakes are greater, but at least them money is loooooaaaaads better.
(And the users not as stupid, strangely enough.)
Comment by Matt — August 12, 2005 @ 3:11 pm
That little computer graphic looks like me for the last week….
Found you by way of Blog Advance and just wanted to say hi and that I love your blog. It’s very entertaining.
Comment by Deb — August 13, 2005 @ 6:42 am
Jac - What did Q-Man say? You heard the tone exactly
Matt - You poor, poor guy. But money does ease the pain!
Deb - You’ve been there, hmm? Weeks like that make me want to run away and join the circus. Thanks for stopping by, and I am glad you enjoyed yourself! Feel free to drop by anytime
(And I hope your next week is better…)
Comment by Jaxia — August 13, 2005 @ 12:28 pm
Current tech support abuse-puppet here as well. Still haven’t found my way out of the trenches.
Comment by Terri — August 19, 2005 @ 7:28 am
I was the guy on the other end of the phone, getting paid a meager wage to stand between a barely coherent “end-user” and you lovely folks. Oh, the laughs. Spending an hour on the phone wondering why this vxd was halting suchandsuch or that dll was bliggitybloo, I often felt like retiring to the drive-thru of a KFC just so I could perform a DYI lobotomy with one of them thur fancy sporks them gots.
Alas, now I am Rich and Famous™, so I look on my Pentium Pro days with the sated nostalgia that only comes with hard-won success.
Actually, thats a lie. I’ve just learned how to ruthlessly delegate the crap jobs to my juniors.
P.S. - Don’t be alarmed, I’m just here to gather some info for the new WBA site.
Comment by Josh — August 25, 2005 @ 4:43 am