We apologize for the late post this week. As you all know, yesterday was both World Hello Day and False Confession Day, so we were pretty busy greeting and cleansing and freestyle clogging all day.
But, as we approach Turkey Day, SK’s personalities were preparing for what they will say at this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. When asked the question “What are you most grateful for?”, here are their responses:
Alice: “Clorox Clean-Ups”
Fred: “Pink ninjas.”
Susannah: “Flavored wallpaper.”
Frank: “*#@!, three, four, five, *#@!.” (we should explain: Frank has OCD and Tourette’s)
Zelda: “Yoga pants.”
Fallulah: “Silly putty.”
Mel: “No, seriously. Let me out.”
Obviously, most of them appreciate innovative ideas. I’m sure you do, too. So, here’s the Question of the Week: in your opinion, what is the greatest invention of all time and why?
Alliance of Free Blogs - I found You Know You Wanna while searching for kitty porn. No, that's not a typo.
Great blog! Thanks!
Comment by scorpyg — November 22, 2005 @ 2:10 pm
Computers
I have a good relationship with my computer. It plays games with me, tells me jokes, plays music to me, shows me dirty pictures and does my taxes. I have great conversations with it, too. These conversations appear as e-mail or IM and take on the personalities of supposed “friends,” but the human embodiments of those “friends” are rarely with me. It develops my pictures, keeps my schedule and corrects my spelling. It plays DVDs for me or transports me in games to faraway lands where I can fly planes, race cars, fight dragons or try to fill an inside straight on the river.
more detail can be read here http://spaces.msn.com/members/briani/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c01_blogpart=blogmgmt&_c=blogpart
Comment by Briani — November 22, 2005 @ 6:07 pm
Sex.
Because let’s face it. Someone, at some point, had to be the first to wonder what happens when you put tab A into slot B.
Comment by MaskedFencer — November 22, 2005 @ 6:23 pm
Runner ups:
Cucumber aka “The Gherkin” - Really do we need a reason.
Moist towelettes - Easy car travel clean up!
Lotion bottle buggers - I don’t know why… they’re just gross.
Ginsu - But wait there’s more!
Sea-Monkeys - Everyone knows they’re alive. Oh.. and don’t forget about sea-monkey diamonds.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Pets - For those who are folliclely challenged; it sheds hope.
Scratch and Sniff - “Come on you know you wanna”…
The Pussy Snorkel - Enough said… Google it.
Edible underwear - They’re not really the best invention.. but they have to be mentioned.
Rosie & Baby Oil - Hey the guys need some representing.
Mullets - Come on I gotta represent the raza sisters too.
Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and for those who know me….. Stickies!!!!
Now here we go the titty twisting, orgasmic toe curling, over the top finisher for me is: REAL SKIN SILICONE
Why you ask: The world would be a lonelier place if it did not exist. Imagination and creativity would never be challenged. Happy fun drawers around the world would never be the same and it is now easier for a quiet night at home to never be a wasted one. ^^
Comment by Jac — November 22, 2005 @ 7:12 pm
Other great inventions:
• Duct tape - It is like the Force. It has a dark side, a light side and binds the universe together
• Thermos - How does it know if it is supposed to keep something hot or cold?
• Breast Implants - I guess this might count as TWO of the best inventions ever
• Mute Button on the phone - when you absolutely, positively need to say something to someone but do not want them to hear
• Digital Camera - Higher quality than Polaroid and you don’t need to let anyone from a photolab look at your home made porn
• Ctrl-Z - this keystroke lets you undo what you just did
• Pop top cans - it is nice to not have a little sharp bit of aluminum on your finger after opening a can (this may date me a bit since I still remember these cans, but I can find them every now and again in the garage or digging int he garden)
• Beer - helping ugly people get laid for centuries (me included as I have one helluva ugly mug)
• Car - sure you could walk, or ride a horse, or a wagon, but it wouldn’t sound as cool, you wouldn’t get there as fast, and you can’t burn rubber without it (has anyone ever heard of burning horseshoes or Amish hot rodders? I think not)
• Motorcycles - What is cool about 4 wheels is even more badass on 2. wind in your hair, bugs in your teeth, parking near the door, the ever present danger of a blue-haired lady in a caprice classic running you over. Not ot mention Chicks dig it
• Tivo has changed my life. I can’t remember the last time i spent an hour flipping channels or watching commercials. I love the ability to pause and instant replay things. I even try doing it to the radio or when people are talking to me, but to a much lesser success rate. Plus it is a bit like reverse time travel being able to control what you see on TV.
• The brass pole – give strippers something to spin around and hang from in order to entice guys in the front row to give up tips. So shiny and seductive, even seeing one at Home Depot makes me reach for a $1 bill and I can swear I hear Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” playing in the distance
• Night – this is a great one. What better time to do things you wouldn’t do under the light of day? Whether it is throwing yard clippings over the fence for the neighbor to deal with, knocking over a street sign that you don’t like or decorating someone’s yard or car with TP, night is the perfect time to solve problems in your own vigilante style.
• Sucralose (Splenda) – Do you want to drink 16 fluid ounces of pure energy drink but also concerned about that energy showing up on your hips? The Splenda is the right invention for you. It is in candy, soft drinks, yellow packets on diner tables and abnormally light boxes for baking. Splenda is the savior for Atkin’s and South beach diet folks and makes everyone else feel a little better about the caffeine, taurine, creatine and arrginine they are pumping into their body (PS Low carb energy drinks taste great with vanilla infused vodka)
• Tambourine – letting untalented people rock out on stage with their favorite jam bands for generations. No need to stand there or noodle dance, you can play an instrument.
• Scroll wheel and extra buttons on the mouse – I could say the mouse as a whole, but I think that is going a little to far. While I like the mouse, I LOVE the scroll wheel and the buttons allowing me to quickly go back and forward on the internet. Sure they give my right hand more to do when playing video games, but they also help me maximize the pages of blogs, porn and web pages I can look at each hour.
Comment by Briani — November 23, 2005 @ 2:06 pm
This is an easy one.
The greatest invention ever is the condom. Apart from its desease prevention attributes, it made it possible for the first time ever for women to have sex without having to be terrified of becoming pregnant. It laid the groundwork which later gave rise to the sexual revolution. And you can’t beat that.
Comment by Beck — November 24, 2005 @ 1:48 pm
You do know they had condoms in ancient greece, right?
Literally lambskin. They worked quite well.
That’s one hell of a long groundwork.
Somehow I think the world’s oldest proffesion would also have some thoughts about being able to have sex without becoming pregnent.
Comment by MaskedFencer — November 24, 2005 @ 7:12 pm
I am most grateful for masturbation. To quote Woody Allen, “It’s sex with someone I love.”
Comment by Pauly — November 26, 2005 @ 9:44 pm
Perhaps I should have said “vulcanized rubber” then, as that’s what brought mass-produced condoms to the marketplace. Figured, in the interest of simplicity and clarity, I’d leave out the technical details and the history lesson.
Besides, the Greeks WERE sexually liberated. But to get the Victorians to ligthen up, it took rubber.
Comment by Beck — November 27, 2005 @ 1:27 pm
Greatest invention: the codex (aka the book). Prior to the invention of the codex, people were forced to use scrolls, making it difficult to find that exact passage in the text they were consulting. With the codex form, they could leaf through the pages and find the passage more easily. Then came the printing press, the dime novels, the paperbacks, and thus portable knowledge/escape in a compact form!
Comment by JSS — November 28, 2005 @ 9:56 pm
JSS - I’m all for escape in a compact form and according to SK, you would have had the best answer. Alas, this contest ended on Monday but we cannot wait to see what you come up with for the holiday song contest
Comment by Jaxia — November 28, 2005 @ 11:18 pm