It’s a little late, but I’m running behind on everything lately, so it just goes with the territory. I know several people who could send these 
Sweetheart, I’ve got you under my skin. I’ll wash and wash, but you’ll never come out.
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Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and I think I left the iron on.
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I’m crazy for you! Get it?
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BE MINE. Wait. That has six letters. Six letters is so unlucky. It’s like YOU DIE. That’s exactly what it’s like. Now you’re going to die and it’s all my fault.
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You’re all I think about. Literally!
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It’s hard to tell, what with all the SSRIs in my bloodstream, but I think I feel something for you.
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I’d touch you without gloves. If I could, I mean.
3 Responses to “Obsessive-Compulsive Valentines”
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Those were great!
Comment by Mike — February 16, 2006 @ 8:53 pm
Some of these remind me of country music songs.
Like the classics:
Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I’m Kissing You Goodbye.
All I Want From You (Is Away)
Hand me the Pool Cue and Call Yourself an Ambulance
He’s got a Way with Women…and He’s Just got Away with Mine
How Can I Get Over You if You Won’t Get Out from Under Me?
How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me
I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You.
If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I’d Killed You When I Wanted To, I’d be Out of Jail By Now
If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead?
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and Offer
We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It’s All Over Now
Comment by Briani — February 17, 2006 @ 2:40 pm
Classics!
I’ve got one similar: I’ve Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on my Back in my Bed While I Cry Over You
And my all-time favorite: Ain’t No Trash Been in My Trailer Since the Night I Threw You Out
Comment by SK — February 20, 2006 @ 10:52 pm