Mere moments after submitting, I got a call to schedule an interview for next week.

Ohwow!Ohwow!Ohwow!Ohwow!Ohwow!Ohwow!

Now, I get to manage my nerves and practice my ‘elevator speech’ for over a week.

Hmm … what will I wear?! I need a haircut ASAP!

It was a little disturbing to find out about how the hospital handles deciding when to confine a patient to the unit, and when they are allowed to go out on the hospital grounds without a chaperone. I must admit I was a surprised to find out that someone could commit a violent crime, yet work their way up through the reward system and earn full grounds privileges. It isn’t all that hard to get out of the hospital, and I’m not sure I’d want to live near the place.

The hotel experience was like a comedy of errors. Since it takes about 2 hours to get there, my school friend and I decided to get a room near the hospital for each of the two weeks that we had to be there. For the first week, my friend made the arrangements. We arrive at the hotel, and I go into the bathroom — there are roaches everywhere! Luckily, we were able to find another room at a different place. On the second week, we check in and our toilet overflows, so we wind up switching rooms around 1130p. It made for a very long night.

Oh! And, I almost forgot to write about the best part of the clinical experience! I was able to observe 2 sessions of ECT. Now, I don’t know about you, but I had a lot of misconceptions about “shock therapy.” As they were setting up one patient, the doctor asked me if I wanted to touch the patient’s foot so that I could feel the seizure.

“Do I touch it after you remove the electrodes?”
“No, touch it now and keep it there throughout the procedure.”

I had no idea I could touch someone while they were getting shocked! It was really a very cool experience. And, you could see a positive change in both patients within minutes of having ECT.

Going into my psych clinicals, I really wasn’t looking forward to it. All that “touchy-feely” theraputic communication just isn’t my thing. But, I was pleasantly surprised by the whole clinical rotation. As a TK learner, I appreciated getting to actually hear clanging and echolalia, see akathisia and talk to a patient with delusions and hallucinations … it was invaluable. I don’t think I could work as a psych nurse, but my clinical rotations did change my attitude about it.

With several days of temperatures over 100 degrees, it seems like a good excuse for a cold Blizzard treat!

(School starts again shortly, so I’ll have more updates about nursing school soon!)

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Working for Microsoft, adjusting to life in Dallas/Fort Worth, spending the summer at the lake with my friends

2. What are the five things at the top of your “to do” list?

— Getting a better grip on the fundamentals for nursing school
— Packing for my move
— Learning different swim strokes
— Reading for pleasure
— Working as much as possible to save up for the fall semester

3. What are five snacks you enjoy?

— Chips, salsa, queso and guacamole (although I’m allergic to most of it)
— Apples with peanut butter
— Homemade fruit smoothies
— Jalapeno garlic hummus
— Apple cinnamon rice cakes

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire.

Travel as much as possible; invest wisely so I could stay a millionaire; pay off my debt; buy my first home

5. Name some places you have lived.

Houston, Tx; Dallas, Tx; Corpus Christi, Tx; Columbia, SC; Fort Worth, Tx; Bedford, Tx; Saginaw, Tx; Lewisville, Tx; Burleson, Tx; Grand Praire, Tx; Arlington, Tx; Richardson, Tx … basically, Texas.

6. Name some bad habits you have.

Procrastination, being too quick to find fault in myself and others, not taking enough risks, being too distrustful

7. Name some jobs you’ve had.

Customer Support Advocate, Account Executive, Technical Support Analyst, IT Manager, Internet Consultant, Web Analytics Project Manager, SEO Lackey

I won’t tag anyone, but if you want to fill it out, I’d love to see your answers!

I haven’t been using the online flashcards for long, so I’m not sure how much spaced repetition will actually help me, but it seems like it should.

If you are interested, here is a link to the cards I have already created. I’m trying to remember to tag all the cards I create with ‘nursing’ to make them easier for other people to find. Let me know what you think!

I also got to see an active MI (myocardial infarction)! Seeing someone come while in the middle of a heart attack was very exciting. To see how it was handled, how people responded … I even got to follow it up to the cardiac cath lab and see them place several stents (not shunts) and a pacemaker. I’m still amazed at how fast everything was done.

Our major care plans were due last week. Mine came in at almost 40 pages long. I wrote mine on a patient who had a recent kidney transplant, and developed an infection.

For the most part, my teacher has turned me loose. I’m giving oral medications, injections and hanging IV piggybacks totally on my own. It’s almost like I’m a real nurse!

As for lecture, I’m doing okay. Not great, but not too horrible, either. Things are still a bit touch-and-go, but I’m trying to turn it around.

One of the reasons I’ve been stressed out is because I’ve been experiencing significant abdominal pain pretty much every time I try to eat anything. Over the Christmas holiday, I went to the doctor to have some testing done and when I got the results, it threw me for a bit of a loop. I’m allergic to a ton of stuff, including gluten, egg yolks and whites, dairy, soy, corn, tomatoes, and safflower. And those are just a few of my food allergies! The entire list is rather long.

Needless to say, since I was trying to live on bananas and orange juice, I tortured my immune system. I’ve been sick since early January and finally went to the doctor earlier this week (being a student with no health insurance really bites!). It’s just bronchitis, so they gave me some steroids, antibiotics and stuff like that. I’m trying to bulk up on my vitamin C and take better care of myself.

As for school … I really didn’t do well on the first test, but I did fairly well on the second one. I didn’t quite pull myself out of the hole I dug, but hope is not lost. I’ll have my third lecture test next week (out of five total), so I’ll have a good idea then of where I’m sitting overall.

Clinicals are going fairly well. I’ve had some really interesting patients, and I’m getting to do a ton of nursing skills. I’ve been giving oral meds on my own for a while now (no more waiting on the instructor!), and I just got the OK to start hanging IVs on my own, too! The first time I went around handing out oral medications to my patients on my own, I really started to feel like a nurse. I can only imagine the feeling when I get to hang that first IV without my instructor!

I haven’t been able to start on IV yet on a real person, but our instructor is really trying to find us good situations. Since I’m still trying to develop my sea legs, so to speak, and not get queasy, I’m not in any hurry.

So, yes, I’m still here, plugging away. Thanks to everyone who’s written to ask about me and wish me well!

As I sat down in front of the computer, I tried to give myself a pep talk: You just need to pass this test. You can do it. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and started the test.

And had no clue what the first 10 questions were even talking about.

After going through all the questions at least twice, I was ready to finish the test. Hovering over the ’submit’ button, afraid to know my results, I tried to prepare myself for whatever might happen. Steeling my resolve, I hit the button.

70

I don’t think I can even tell you a portion of the things that went through my mind as I saw that failing grade come up on the screen. I disappointed everyone who believed in me and I was ashamed to have let them down. What’s wrong with me and why am I such a failure? Could I really do this entire semester all over again?

Still in shock, I spoke to my teacher about the readmission process. My friend was waiting for me in the hall. ‘How’d you do?’

‘Not good,’ as I slowly shook my head and headed down the hallway.
‘Are you still in the program?’ she asked, worry clouding her voice.
‘Nope. I failed. Bad.’

She was silent, then, not knowing what to say to comfort me.

After a moment, ‘Are you sure?’
‘Pretty sure,’ but I dug out my phone to use the calculator. ‘I can’t even remember my grades; I just remember my average!’ as the frustration starts to creep over me.
‘Just multiply it by 4.’
‘Oh, right.’ *4)+70))/5

I lean heavily against the wall, trying to find the courage to look at the answer.

77.8

Turning to my friend, I whisper, ‘77.8?’ Then there’s a slight pause because I can’t find my voice and I literally collapse onto the floor. ‘That’s passing, right?’
‘Yes! Are you sure?’ She pulls out an adding machine (yes, she carries and adding machine with her; I have no idea why) and we’re both doing the math.

It’s right! I made it!

In the end, it wasn’t that close after all. There were a few test questions tossed out of this test and the last test, so I wound up with plenty of cushion. Even knowing that, while trying to write this, attempting to recapture the horrible feelings from this morning, I feel nauseous. That walk down the hallway, with dismay weighing so heavy on my soul, was the longest 10 steps of my life.

I almost didn’t write about my morning; I could just say I passed, and nobody would know that I came so close to failing. But, I’m not perfect, and this is a difficult journey.

I’m just glad I’m still on it.

I DIDN’T FAINT.

Woo! Thank you all for the support and encouragement!

I also spent a day on a post-partum floor, shadowing a nurse. Before the day started, I wasn’t excited about it. But, I had an amazing nurse and learned SO much. She had me doing full assessments — the first time I checked for colostrum and lochia, I was a bit hesitant, but by lunch time, I felt like an old pro.

This week, I have to take care of two patients in post-partum on my own, then I’ll move on to labor and delivery and finally the NICU.

I have a confession to make. I’m nervous about my time in labor and delivery because I don’t deal well with blood and people in pain. I know, what am I doing in nursing school if I don’t want to see blood? I think I can learn to deal with it; I’m just not sure HOW to learn to deal with it. Is there anyone else who was squeamish when they started nursing school? If so, how did you deal with it?